6/9/07 Toby, There are no words to describe how much you will be missed. It has been 1 week since I last saw you. That last visit with you was the hardest day for me to say goodbye to someone I love so much. Mommy is doing okay but very very sad and upset. You were her baby and now Ozzy has to fill your footsteps which will be hard to do. He is also very sad because you are not there to guide him like you always did. I brought Mugsy down this weekend to try and cheer him up a bit to let him know he is not alone. Daddy, Chris and Brian all miss you too and are all sad. The house is not the same without you. As I sit here writing this all I can do is cry. I took all your pictures out yesterday and started putting my album together of just you. I am going to keep your memory alive and I will never ever forget you. You are the best brother a sister could have ever had.
Toby, This is one of mommy's favorite pictures of you. I thought it would be nice to put this one here for her.
Toby, It has been 8 days since you have been laid to rest and I still can not stop crying everytime I think of you or see a picture of you. I still can not believe you are gone. I showed mommy your memorial but it is very hard for her to look at right now. I am sure when she gets better she will leave you some wonderful words. This is hard for me to write but I feel in my heart I need to write you to let you know you will never be forgotten. I love you so much Toby and I can't wait to see you again someday. XXOO I love you my toby one kanobie!!!
Toby, This was me with you on the last day before you left us. I miss you so much. I think about you all the time and wish I could hug you again. Mommy took this wonderful picture of you and me on June 3rd. I will never ever forget that day. I hope you are running free of pain now because when I get there we are gonna run for miles together, I promise!!!! I love you Toby!!
ozzy on the left and toby on the right
July 10, 2007
Toby, I know it has been a while since I wrote but every time I write my eyes fill with tears as they are now and I can't write. It has been over a month since you left your mommy and us. We still talk about you all the time and still miss you tremendously. We bought Mommy a stone memorial bench to put you ashes under so you will always be with her. The house is so different without you. I still wait to hear your thumping tail. Ozzy never even knows when I show up until I get in the house, but you always knew when I was coming down the street! He is getting better too but I think it will take him a little time to get used to you not being there. I bring Mugsy every weekend to visit him and keep him company. I will add more fun pics of you soon. So many people have left nice comments about you but it makes me cry to write them back but I will in time. Well I have to go for now, but I will be thinking of you my Toby one Kanobie
August 8, 2007
Hi Toby, it's your Jenni. I just wanted to say hello to you and let you know you are still very much missed. It is still hard for me to write and my eyes are still filling up with tears as I write this. Things are ok with mommy too. She still misses you alot too. Daddy put out the memorial that we all got for mom. He put it where mommy has her roses. I think she will be adding more but I don't know when. Ok, I just wanted to say hello and let u know I am still thinking of you, it's hard to write when your eyes fill up with tears. I will always love you Toby and you will always be my buddy. You will never be forgotten!!! I love you...xoxoxox
Hi Toby boy. I was thinking of you today so I started looking through more pics of you and found this one of you sleeping in the sun. How much you loved to lay in the sun. I miss you so much still. When I go to mom and dads all your pictures are still up all over. Ozzy got a new brother too. He was really lonely without you. His name is Baxter, but I call him little b. He likes to bite alot, something you never did but it's ok he is still teething. You should see him and Mugsy play. It is so funny. Well anyway, I love you and you will always be with me. I love you so much!!!!! Your one and only Jenni
My dear little brother Toby. Today would have been your 10th birthday!!!! In my heart it is and you will get older each year just like all of us. I wish you were here to celebrate but we will celebrate anyway because you are not forgotten. It is still hard to write to you, the tears just pour out of my eyes. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I still miss you and I still think about you. HAPPY 10TH BIRTHDAY HANDSOME BOY!!!!!!!!!!! Love always and forever.........Jenni and Mugsy.
Toby's first swim of the year...
Happy Birthday Baby.....my Toby.....it's me, mommy.....I miss you so, so much! You'll never know how often I think of you. Jenni started this site for you last year when you left us....I haven't written to you before this because it's still so hard to find the words I need to tell you just how much you meant to me, to have you in my life, but today is your birthday....so I had to try. And now that I'm here I realize that I don't have to put everything into words...I'm sure you can still read my mind the way you did when you were here with us...I have your pictures all over...I see you in every room I go into...so you are thought of every single day, you will never be forgotten, by any of us.....we love you as much now as ever, we just can't touch you, but we have so many wonderful memories of you.....the smile when you were happy...the twinkle in your eyes when we understood what you were trying to tell us (you were the smartest doggie ever!) The thumping of your tail when one of the kids showed up, you knew they were there before they even pulled into the driveway.....Toby, you were the love of my life, and its ok for me to say this, because daddy understands, he knows just how special you were to me and he loved you too!
Ozzy wants me to wish you a Happy Birthday for him and he wants you to know that even though he wasnt the best of little brothers, he has become a really good big brother to Baxter (thanks to you he had a great teacher) . We have told Bax all about you and I think you would have really liked him, he has such depth in his eyes, similar to yours but not completely...I've never seen another dog with eyes like yours. Anyway, daddy and the kids got Baxter for my birthday to help Ozzy and me from being lonely and missing you so much. Even though we love Bax and he keeps us very busy getting into all sorts of trouble and stuff, we still miss you terribly and feel an emptiness without you here...
Toby, I know you are no longer in pain, and you can run and play with the other doggies at the bridge, and I know you miss us as much as we miss you...but you go and run and jump and swim in the pool, and you celebrate your birthday with your new friends and I'll sit here and picture you playing happily until the day we meet again! Happy Birthday Toby! I so wish you were still here with me, but I know you are here in spirit......love you......mommy
toby smiles while ozzy sleeps
you two were attached at the hip
toby n ozzy always together
ozzy is now the 'big' brother
Toby, may I introduce you to Baxter
My dearest brother Toby, how much you are still missed. It has been one year since you left us and you are still all we talk about. I know you are gone and have been but I feel you watching over us all the time. I still miss kissing you and giving you hugs. I just want you to know that you are not forgotten and never will be!!!! I said a little prayer to you this morning and I hope you heard it. I know you are running around free of pain with Rufus and Kilo. The 3 Stooges that you were. I miss all of you so much and there isn't a day that goes by that I do not think of all of you. As soon as I find the picture of the three of you I will post it so I can share it with everyone.
I just wanted to say hello and let you know how much I still miss you and love you. You will always be in my heart!!! xoxoxox
Toby...my Toby....I can't believe it, but it's been a year today since we lost you! So much has happened, yet I still feel as though you just left us. The pain of missing you is still fresh, even though it is not as sharp. I miss you as much today as I did a year ago Tobes! You were the light of my life and even though life goes on, its not as bright as when you were here with me! I've never had a relationship with a pet before like ours was Toby. We had such a connection, you and I, and I don't think I'll ever have that closeness with a big, furry baby again....not like we had anyway, because you were so special.....you still are to me! (and daddy and the boys and Jenn feel the same way too!)
And Ozzy.....oh how he's changed since you left.....he is just one big, loving, dopey fur-ball..... I really think he's tried to make you proud of him Toby.....he listens and obeys almost all the time now, just like you taught him to....and he knows when we're talking about missing you, he tries to cheer us up.....he's been great with Baxter.....he's already taught him so much, you know, like the things you taught Oz......and he yells at him when necessary too....just like you did with Ozzy....he's carrying on your lessons to the next generation,,,,,
I have to stop now Toby....I'm missing you so very much right now but I just don't want you to think that I will ever forget you. You were number ONE from the day you came to live with us, and you'll always be number ONE in our hearts and our souls! I love you and miss you so much baby......you are always in my heart! Mommy
My 'Toby' Claus
My sweet Toby.... did you get my Christmas gift? I hope it made you happy baby, but it was so hard to do....I want you to know that even though my heart is aching right now, I had to send Ozzy to be with you at the bridge. He got so sick, so quickly, that I knew the best Christmas present I could give to both of you was to reunite the two of you again! Please take care of your little brother Tobes....he loves you so much, as we all do....and now we miss you both so much....Merry Christmas babies...Mommy loves you both!
Dear sweet Toby....I didn't write to you on your birthday a few days ago, and I am truly sorry, but I know you understand why.... I thought about you all day (there's not a day that goes by that I don't) and I looked at your pictures, they are still everywhere, in every room, along with Ozzy's pics. Did Ozzy celebrate your birthday with you? I know you are helping him, just like in the old days when you were both here with me.
I know you must be happier having Oz there with you, and it helps me to know that you will always watch over him, but the pain of losing both of you in less than 2 years is heartbreaking. I know you understand why I haven't come here to write to you more since I lost Ozzy, because Toby baby, it was just so sudden! He just stopped eating, and you know how Oz was about food! It was only a few days of tests before the xrays showed the tumor, and it was so big! I couldn't put him through the chemo that might have helped him to stay with us longer, he had already started to lose weight, and he had 'the look'.....you know.....the look you gave me when you knew it was time to leave us....
And even though I knew Ozzy was leaving us, I knew he was going to be with you, his hero, his guide, his big brother....just in time to spend Christmas with you! I hope you boyz had a happy reunion that day....knowing you would both be together was the only way I could get through the holidays....I knew my boyz were together again, running and playing and barking up a storm! I am sitting here imagining the 2 of you chasing each other by the rainbow bridge the way you did when you were here in the backyard, or even in the house.....I miss that.....I miss you!
Ok Tobes.....I can't write anymore today....I can barely see through these tears and I don't want you and Ozzy to to get upset because mommy misses you both so, so much....I want you both to go play together, and lay in the sun and feel the breeze and then just snuggle together the way I remember you always did after a hard day's play!
Remember Toby, you are always in my thoughts...I love you today even more than yesterday, and tomorrow I will love you even more, if that's possible! Now go give Ozzy a big kiss from me, and he can give you a big kiss from me, and then you go play with all your friends at the bridge, ok?
You are my heart and soul,
Ozzy (left), and Toby (right)
Dear Toby....today it has been 2 years since you left us and we still miss you like crazy!we still talk about you all the time and your pictures are still everywhere, along with Ozzy's. My favorite pic of you is still the wallpaper on my computer so I see you every single day, all the time! Sometimes I stare in your eyes and smile remembering how wonderful our time together was! I even took a picture of your picture with dad's new phone so he could carry it around with him and show everyone the best doggie in the world!
So you see, you're still here with us, every day and night, all the time.....and sometimes I can even hear you talking to me the way you always did.....I would really love to hear you do that again but I know its only in my memories of you.....but I feel blessed to have those memories, all of them, because you were the brightest light in my life for nine years and although you are gone, your light still shines in my heart.
When I reminded dad this morning what day this was, I saw a flick of sadness in his eyes....then he tried to cheer me up because he loved you as much as I did, and the kids did also!
I hope you're keeping busy with Ozzy and all your new friends at the bridge.....I want you to do a favor for me Tobes.....you might have met a new friend there....he only got there several weeks ago....his name is Rocky and he's a Husky, and he was beautiful too...I don't know if he had any doggie friends at the bridge, but his mommy is a good friend of Jenn's and mine and she's very sad that she lost her baby too.....Would you look for Rocky and keep an eye on him for me? I'm sure Carol would find some comfort knowing that my big boy Toby is keeping her baby under his wing, just like you do with Ozzy, ok? I know you'll take care of both of them Toby, because you're the very best of the best!
I'm gonna sign off now baby.....time for mom to get some sleep because you know I worked all night and I have to get some rest.
I will always love you baby......
my 2 angel babies
Toby and Ozzy (RIP)
It's your sister Jenni. Today is a sad day for us. Even though it has been 2 years it feels just like yesterday. I went and visited mom today and we talked all about you and remembered the happy times with you. It makes me smile to know that you have so many new friends and you are not suffering any more. I hope you are taking good care of Ozzy and I just wanted to ask you if you can give him a big hug and kiss for me. Let him know that he is missed very much and thought about all the time. I am glad he is with you and you are taking care of him. I love you two so much and will never ever forget you. Mugsy says hello and sends lots of kisses to you both. You know how much he loves to kiss!!!! Anyway, I have to go now because I get very sad when I type and the tears are filling my eyes. Just remember how much I love you two. I still have your pictures up and always will. My love always......Jenni. xoxoxoxoxoxox
Toby and Ozzy. I just wanted to wish you boys a Merry Christmas. I miss you guys so much and I am still having a hard time writing without crying. I just want you to know that you are stll both missed very much. I hope you two are doing well. Mugsy sends kisses to you and misses you both too. He now plays with Baxter and his sister Tori. Tori is the new addition to the family and is Baxter's biological sister. They are so good to each other. Tori beats on Baxter, you should see, it is so funny. Mugsy is in love with her I think. Lol. Ok, I will let you boys go and play now. Don't forget to open you gifts that I left for you. :o) Love always, Jenni.
Happy, Happy Birthday, baby boy! ...and Happy Easter also Tobes.....I sure hope you got to celebrate up there at the rainbow bridge! I felt you were with us today as we celebrated Easter dinner with Jenn and Brian and Jeanette and Jesatina...and Mugsy, and Baxter and Victoria.
Bax and Torie know all about you and they really try to live up to your legend, though it is an impossible task, but we love them a whole lot!
I hope Ozzy remembered you on your birthday and at least shared a bone with you, (even though when it came to something edible Oz wasn't the best at sharing...lol) but he loves you so much I'm sure he did something special for you today....I wish I could still do special things for you.....
I still miss the way you used to 'talk' to me...even from across the room, when you wanted my attention, or to tell me it was time to eat, or go out....Baxter talks a little bit, sometimes it sounds a little like you...but he's not as clear with his messages as you were, when I looked in your eyes after you talked to me, I knew exactly what you were saying to me...I don't think I'm ever going to find that again!
Do you know you would have been 12 years old today? really! If it were up to me doggies would have the lifespan of humans, then we wouldnt ever have to live without our best babies! But its not up to me, and you and Ozzy are at the rainbow bridge with a whole bunch of other doggies that you can play with every day, and at least I have that thought to comfort me.
I'm sorry if I seem a little down, I just miss spending your birthday with you...I miss spending lots of days with you....I do want you to know that between Baxter and Victoria, together they give me daily reminders of you even though they never met you....Torie is a leaner, like you, lol, and a lover too! Baxter is learning to talk to me and he's trying very hard to be like you, (Ozzy told him all about you!) But to be perfectly honest, he's turning into a big goof-ball like Ozzy was..lol!
But I dont need the newer babies to remind me of you Toby....your pictures are still all around me so I see you every single day, from morning to night! Dad wants to wish you a Happy Birthday too....we all do, and we all still miss you terribly!
Well, its nite nite time for all big doggies now, here and at the Bridge...so I'm going to stop now to tend to the puppies that are still here with me and I'll tell them another story about their wonderful, big brother Toby on his 12th birthday, ok?
Good night sweet boy, remember mommy will always love you! I hope you had a Happy Birthday today....I love you baby!
I remember.....just like yesterday.....
June 4, 2010
Hey Baby Boy....I've been dreading this day all week...but its here and I have to face it...you've been gone from us for 3 years now. I have to tell you though...it seems like just yesterday! Actually, all my memories of you are like just yesterday....from the day that Chris, Brian and I went to get you from your birth parents.....we drove almost 4 hours to get there, all the while trying to think of a name for you before we even met you! And it was YOU! out of 16 pups, it was YOU who came out of the corner to greet me, waggling that tail and sniffing, then licking my fingers!.....Oh yes baby, I remember like it was just yesterday! And then all the way home, Brian was in the back seat of the car with you, snuggling together, and we still didnt have a name for you.....Chris wanted to call you Goober....but I didnt think you were a goober.....By the time we got home I was pretty sure your name was gonna be Toby...Brian liked that name too....so did dad, when he met you! I ran out to the store to get some supplies for you and when I came home I found 'post-it notes everywhere with the name 'goober' on them...hahaha....Chris really wanted you to be called goober! But of course, we named you Toby, and you liked your name too....even though whenever Chris came over he still called you Goober..( I also think you liked the fact that Chris called you by a different name than anyone else) and you had such a close bond with him you answered to him when he called you goobs!......just like yesterday...
And I remember the thumping of the tail!... I still really miss the thumping of the tail....nothing else could compare with the happiness you showed just by waggling that tail, and no matter where you were or what you were near, that tail would just go thump, thump, thump! I still say to this day, that most dogs just wag their tails....but you Toby, would waggle it! ....I remember....just like yesterday....
And the sprinkle cheese.....remember the sprinkle cheese? Most people call it parmesan....but you knew it as sprinkle cheese....and you loved it when we sprinkled it on top of your food......in fact, I remember one day, after I put your food in your bowl you just stared at it...then you looked at me....then you looked at the fridge, then back at your bowl....you must have done it 2 or 3 times before I realized what you were saying! Then I asked you if you wanted sprinkle cheese.....and you actually smiled because I understood what you were saying to me! you kinda did a little dance and waggled that tail and waited for me to get the cheese and sprinkle it on your food.....then you ate it all up!...I remember....just like yesterday....
Dad is doing the sprinkle cheese thing with Baxter and Victoria....they actually think its a real treat when he feeds them because they won't eat 'til he sprinkles the cheese on their food! Of course, that was my special treat with you, and then Ozzy too....but I do a different 'special' treat with those two....I always give them half of their food at first...then when they're done, I say: 'you want more?", and they get all excited and Baxter even does a dance for more, so then i give them a little more....I do it a few times until they've had their full meal.....
Toby, I have sooooooooo many memories of you....some not so happy, but most are filled with happiness! .....when you lost all your hair and had that rash all over your body....not so happy....but the dermatologist found what the problem was and we changed your food and the rash went away and your hair grew back even more beautiful than before, especially that tail!....and when we found out you had to have spinal surgery.....I cried and cried.....but you had the surgery, and Jenni and I went to visit you every day you were in the hospital....and the first day you wouldn't even look at me....I was so upset I had to leave the room....but Jenn stayed, and she said as soon as I left you crawled towards the door and waited for me to come back in....and when I did you looked at me and I knew everything was gonna be allright....and it was! You could walk again, in fact, I had to be careful not to let you run for quite awhile so you could heal completely....and you did!......I remember......just like yesterday.....
And when Ozzy had to have his knee surgery...you were right there with him, helping him, bringing him toys to play with....his bones to chew.....you were such a big help to mommy keeping Oz calm...you always knew how to distract him when he needed to be distracted.......I remember.....just like yesterday.....
Toby baby....these are simply a few of the wonderful memories I have of you being here with us! There are so, so many, and I try to always smile when I think of something that happened when you were here...I try not to be sad when I think of you not being here anymore....I know we had our time together, and now its your time to be at the rainbow bridge playing like a puppy everyday....just waiting until the day I come to the bridge to get you....and Ozzy too! Right now, Bax and Torie need me, just like you used to need me, and they keep me busy and occupied, but they do not dull my memories of you.....actually, they enhance them.....especially when one of them does something you used to do.....it makes me smile and think of how happy you would be to see me making new memories from the old ones...does that make any sense?....I don't really know....but I want you to know that you set the bar very high....and the younger pups are very entertaining trying to reach your heights.....you would have loved these guys Tobes......especially Baxter.....he has your heart......and Victoria....she has your personality.....so my thoughts are not ever very far from my memories of you...I love you baby.....so much! .I see you every day, one way or another.........I remember...................just like yesterday......
March 22, 2011
My sweet Toby and Ozzy....sorry I haven't written in a while, but don't for a a moment think I've forgotten about either one of you....I still love you both with all my heart and miss you as though you just left me yesterday! The emptiness is still there even though Bax and Torie have done their best to fill the void left in my heart.....
The reason I'm writing today is because you may have noticed a new addition up there at the rainbow bridge....His name is Simon and he is a black lab....his mom is a very good friend of mine and she and her family are very sad right now because Simon left them today to join you and all your friends at the bridge....I told her to whisper in Simon's ear before he left to look for you two when he gets to the bridge so he won't feel so alone when he gets there....I know you boys will welcome Simon with waggly tails and puppy hugs and kisses and I thank you for being so loving...I'm sure Maureen and her husband and girls will feel a little bit better knowing that Simon will have lots of friends to run and play with at the bridge, now that he won't be in pain anymore...
Thank you for all your love, both of you, you gave so much when you were here with me and I know you are still giving all the love you have to your new friends at the rainbow bridge! I love you guys sooooooooooooooooo much!!!!!!!!
I will write again soon.....Goodnight my loves.......Mom
April 4, 2011
Happy Birthday baby....I didn't want you to think I didn't remember your special day today....I've been thinking about you all day and I could almost feel you here with me.
The weather was absolutely beautiful today, Baxter and Victoria were outside just lazing in the yard the way you and Ozzy used to do...I sneaked out with the camera to take some pics of them just like I used to do to you and Oz but as soon as they knew I was there they jumped up and ran over to me...Neither one of them are camera hams like you were! It's amazing how different you all are (were)...you loved the camera so much and you just posed for all the pictures I took of you...you even got Ozzy to pose when I had the camera in my hands....
Did Oz give you a big old sloppy kiss today to wish you a happy birthday? I hope so, I know he wouldn't forget...I still miss you guys so much!
I hope you had a really Happy day today Tobes.....You deserve the best because you were the best, and always will be in my heart.
Happy, Happy Birthday baby boy....give Ozzy a love kiss for me, ok? I will always love you more than you could imagine, and even if I don't write that often, you are never far from my thoughts, I see you still in almost every room in the house, thanks to the pics you gave to me....
I love, love, love you always...........Mom
Hey little brother it's your sister Jenni. I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday!!!! As I sit here and read what mom wrote it is hard for me to type because I am balling my eyes out again. Anyway, I hope you are having fun with your new friends and I want you to know how much you are still missed. I moved the picture of you and Ozzy to the top of my desk yesterday when I was cleaning. I wanted to be able to see u every time I looked up. It's easier to see you both now. Tell the Oz man I said hello and give him a big wet kiss for me . Tell him I miss him too.
Well I have to go now but just remember how much I love you both and miss you both so much. You will always be in my heart.... someday we will meet again.
I love you's.....always and forever...
June 4, 2011
Dear Toby....Its been 4 years without you! Oh, how I still miss you baby....I've been thinking of you more than ever this week. I can't believe its been 4 years already! I talk about you all the time to Victoria and Baxter...I tell them how you loved to be brushed...that when I said the word 'brush' or just showed you the brush, you would come running to me because you enjoyed it so much......they, on the other hand run in the opposite direction when they see the brush in my hand...hahaha...neither one of them enjoy the closeness of a good massage with the brush like you and ozzy did..... I miss that too! I tell them how you loved to swim in your pool...Bax swims when he has a buddy here with him....either mugsy or brody but he doesnt much like to swim alone...and Victoria, well, the little princess doesnt like the water at all! She must be afraid she'll muss her hair...hahaha I tell them how we used to go for walks in the lot....and how you used to chase the geese out of your lot.....I think they get a kick out of that.....how you used to run to get 'your blue ring' when mom turned the music on loud so you and I could dance! I still have that blue ring toby, but these pups dont know how special it is.....how you and I would use it to dance with.....
Its funny.....almost every day something reminds me of one of the great times we had together....simple little things.... a sound, a scent....a song....sometimes just the way torie or bax look at me.....I see a hint of you! I just can't get you out of my mind....and I really don't want to....you see tobes....I loved ozzy....and I love Victoria and Baxter.....but you were the most special baby to me....you were the best and I don't want you to ever doubt that.....I loved ( and love ) all my fur babies.....but you Toby....you were, are... my heart and my soul....the light of my life....never to be put out, never to be forgotten...to always be cherished deep in my heart.
I still talk about you to my friends....I tell them how wonderful and special you were....some of them that never met you feel as though they knew you too.....and the ones that knew you, well, they miss you too....they still say how beautiful you were....and how you used to follow me around the room with your eyes....they knew the relationship you and I had was so special and they were there to help me after you left us....but also knew deep down that I would never get over losing you completely.....they were still a great help to me...just like your friends at the bridge are to you......
I'm gonna go now and take a nap.....and dream of the early days with you.....and how we're going to be together again when its time for me to meet you at the bridge.....
I love you still, with all my heart.....give oz a kiss and hug from me, ok?
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