The Love of My Life My Baby Rocky
I never thought I would have to live without my baby this soon, its seems like i'm in a nightmare just waiting to wake up. See my Rocky lossed his battle with Pancreatitis on the morning of March 4, 2008, while laying with his brother Rex in his mama's bed waiting for her to come back and cuddle with him like every other morning for the past 7 years. I have two other dogs Rex his half brother and Ruby, which we just got in August a few weeks before Rocky got sick. But Rocky was my first baby, it was me and him for a whole year before Rex came. Wherever I went he went including family parties, visiting grandma's or Aunts & Uncles, shopping, hockey tournaments, work and vacations, when possible, (I just couldn't stand to be away from him for any length of time). HE TRULY WAS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, everyone who knew me knew that. The funny thing is I never wanted a dog I just thought of all the extra work it would make for me and between mine and my daughters allergies, owning our own business and being a stay at home mother with 3 children it was just out of the question. But when the kids were bugging me for a pet I told my husband to start searching, of course him and the kids already did that, and came up with a couple of different breeds that were allergy free and family friendly I agreed to take a look at the Havanese because they looked the cutest. When I met his mother I fell in love with her. 2 months later we got a phone call from the breeder telling us the pups were born and December we picked him up and brought him into our home and our hearts. I cannot bear him not waiting by the door for me to come home, being in an empty room because I never was he was the only one that followed me from room to room, not cuddling with him, hugging, kissing and knowing his every need. Mostly I cannot bear not looking into his beautiful brown eyes and seeing all the love he had for me and him knowing I felt the same. He has been my rock thru bad times and now who is going to help me get thru this? My family and friends tell me his memory but they don't understand I don't want his memory I want him......
One of the last pics of Mama and Rocky
Its been 5 sleepless nights now without Rocky and all I've done is be consumed with scanning pictures, putting photo albums and picture frames together, ordering personalized windchimes, ordering a pillowcase with his picture on it, making a keychain from his collar, a necklace with his dog tag and next I'm working on putting a memory quilt together. Its like I can't do enough, I have to surround myself with him. At night I sit in front of my computer replaying my last video clip of him opening his Christmas stocking and when he stops to look at me I find comfort in pausing it so I can feel his eyes lock into mine. I have so many feelings to express but can't put the words down. I feel empty and lonely and I just go thru the motions of everyday life because I have to. Will it ever get better?...the sad thing is I really don't want it to.