If I could have one wish ...It would be to hold you just one more time.
Oh Clee......Mummy's beautiful girl......I feel as if I betrayed you.....I feel as if I took your life. A life that for 17 wonderful years trusted me to take care of them and make sure no harm ever came to them. Then Wednesday, I picked you up out of your bed, put you in your kennel and took you to the vet, knowing that I wouldn't be bringing you home with me. Then I held you while the vet gave you the tranquilizer and then the final shot. You looked so peaceful when it was all over, Cleo. They took you out of the room so fast. I just wanted to stay with you a few more minutes. Oh my Baby, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I am so sorry, Clee. I'm just glad I am the only one in pain now. You are part of me and you have given me so much through our journey together. I didn't want to see you suffer, even if only for a moment. I hope you can forgive me. I would never hurt you. I love you so much. I wish you could have looked up at me with those beautiful eyes and said, "Mummy I'm so tired. I have had such a long and wonderful life. I can't eat much anymore. I'm having a hard time breathing and my body aches so. I'm so tired Mummy and I just can't do this anymore." Oh, if only you could talk. But, I had to trust that I could read the signs. It tore me apart to say farewell. I saw you decline over the last few weeks and I wanted you to be at peace. My life changed forever the moment you took your last breath, just as it did when I picked you up for the first time when you were a kitten and fell in love with you. I will cherish all the precious memories you have given me. I'll forever miss your head constantly on my lap and us pulling our weekend "all nighters" at the computer or in front of the television. How you would loudly scold me or Daddy if we didn't get your food on the plate fast enough, when you would hide on the diningroom chairs and wack Murphy in the head as he went past or how much you enjoyed and would purr when you got your "old lady massages." I still hear your cute little voice when I pass the bedroom mewing "Hey, I'm in here. Aren't you gonna come in here and play with me." When you would use my hairbrush as a toothbrush or to groom that beautiful angel face and then how when no one was looking you'd fish every last Q-tip out of the wastebasket and bat them around the room. I've thanked God everyday for bringing you to me. I will never stop that. Cause, even though people say how lucky you were to get a good home, I know I was the one who benefited the most. You helped me get through some of the toughest times of my life. You never complained or "acted up" when I asked you to adjust to new surroundings. You were the perfect companion and you made our house a home. I wouldn't have traded any of our time together for all the riches in the world. Well Cleo, I am a blubbering mess. If you were here you'd be looking at me like you were saying, "It's gonna be okay Mum." Then you'd try to lick my face dry. Poor Murphy, the big lug, he misses you terribly. He doesn't quite understand whats going on. Clee, I can't imagine spending the rest of my life without you. I'll just have to cling to the memories from the past and to the thought of being with you again when it's my turn to go to "sleep". Visit me in my dreams, if you can. Let me know you're alright and that you forgive me. Wednesday, after I left you, I prayed for you and asked my Dad to meet you and keep you company til I get there. I'll try to keep Murphy here as long as I can. I know sometimes he got on your nerves. I'm sure Heaven is wonderful. A sunny window to lay in. With a tree outside and some birds and squirrels to watch. Before you know it, we will be together again. Take good care of the piece of me you took with you and please don't ever forget me. My love for you will never fade and my heart will keep you close and cherish your memory forever. Thank you for not just being, Cleo. Thank you for being mine. We will miss you so................. Love, Mummy, Daddy, Murphy, Thomas and Sammie