In loving memory of my sweet Alex who I love so much. Alex will be greatly missed and he will be in my heart forever.
When I brought Alex home over nine years ago, he was only six weeks old. It did not take long for me to realize the special connection between us. I have lived with and loved dogs all of my life. Never before had I felt the special bond I have with Alex. He was so much more than a companion. Alex was my confidant, my friend, my protector. He naturally knew his place. He protected my family but never challenged his place within my family. If you know rottweilers, you know that this can sometimes be a challenge. I never needed to speak a command. He somehow knew what I wanted him to do. He was gentle with my children and protected us fiercely. Alex was special.
My baby started having problems early, but he was strong and determined. When he was only three years old, he had his first surgery. Alex had to have cruciate tendon repairs in both legs. Unfortunately, hip and joint problems are common in large breed dogs. He recovered in record time and spent the next three years pain free and trouble free. Then in 2007, I felt a lump in his neck. I did not need a vet to tell me that he had lymphoma. I did my research and found that the disease has a high survival rate if caught early. I rushed him to a small animal oncologist. Within the first week, he was in remission. Luckily, chemotherapy has few side effects in dogs. He handled the chemo well with no complications. The next three years were pain free and healthy once again. Then last May, he herniated a disc. Luckily it was low in his back and surgery made him good as new. We spent the rest of the year with no problems. I knew our luck was running out as he turned nine last November. He seemed to be doing great. He was walking, eating, and drinking. Alex was alert and happy. You could see it in his bright eyes. Last Tuesday, he suddenly stopped walking. Nothing else had changed, though. I figured he had another herniated disc and I spent the night wondering whether he could handle another surgery and whether I should put him through that. I decided to put that thought from my head until he was seen by his veterinarian. The next day, he was taken to one of the best veterinarian hospitals in the state. An MRI soon revealed the grim news. Alex had an infection at the base of his spine. He was placed on IV antibiotics and pain meds immediately. He seemed to be doing better. He still looked bright. He was eating and drinking. Then Sunday, things started to go downhill fast. Tests revealed the infection had broken into his blood stream. Nothing more could be done. On Monday, March 14, 2011, I had to make the decision we all dread. I could either let Alex die a painful death as each of his organs began to shut down, or I could let him go peacefully and pain free. Alex gave me his all and I owed it to him to let him go. I sat with him for a while telling him what a great friend he has been and how much I love him. I held his head in my arms and I stroked his head as he drifted peacefully to sleep. My life will never be the same. Alex was sweet, strong, playful, loving and devoted.
Thank you, Alex, for everything. I will miss you deeply and love you forever. We will see each other again some day.
It has been four weeks since I had to say good-bye to my big guy. Every ounce of me still wishes he were here with me. He was one of the bright spots in my life.
Three months and I still feel like I will walk into my house and see Alex there waiting for me. At home, he followed on my heels no matter where I went. He followed so closely that I couldn't turn around without running right into him. I chuckle as I think of some of our little mishaps. We must have looked like something right out of a cartoon. I really miss that. I can hardly bear to see the empty place next to my bed that was Alex's spot. I want to touch him, smell him, kiss his nose, and look into those sweet brown eyes...just one more time. I miss him so much.I thought it would be easier by now, but it isn't. Not yet, anyway. The pain of losing such a good, trusting, loyal friend is crushing. You know, I always thought that I took care of Alex. But I was so wrong. It is obvious now that Alex took care of me!
It has been a while so I thought I'd log in. I still think about my precious Alex daily. I cannot believe it has been nearly eight months since I had to say goodbye to him. I still feel the same pain and emptiness as if it were yesterday. My beautiful gentle giant would have been 10 years old on the 21st of this month. I can tell his brother, Andrew, still misses him too. Like me, he seems to have good days and bad days. We have two new puppies, one for each of my daughters. One is a Pug and the other is a Bugg (Boston/Pug mix). Andrew has been great with them. He grumbles a little and he looks at me as if to say, "Really? Was this necessary?" But I think he likes them more than he wants to show because if he doesn't see them for a while, he will go check on them and then he will lie down near them and accept the torture of two puppies as they use him for a jungle gym! I am so thankful that my sweet Andrew still is healthy, aside from a little arthritis. I do not know what I will do when I am faced with saying good-bye to him. He has helped me through this more than anyone could ever understand. But, I'm not going to think about that right now. Oh, why can't our pets stay with us and then peacefully pass when we do? What I wouldn't give to have Alex and Andrew stay with me until it is my time. Then we could go together. Does that sound a little crazy? Oh well.
January 17, 2012
Oh Alex, it has been almost a year since we said goodbye. How can that be! I still feel the pain as if it were yesterday. Losing you left such a big hole in my heart. Everything is so stressfull right now. I know that if I could just look into those sweet brown eyes telling me everything will be okay, it would be. I miss you like crazy! Your adopted sister, Abby, joined you on December 20, 2011. She left us way too soon. She was just 2 1/2 years old. What happened to her is still a mystery. She was beautiful, sweet, kind, and the picture of health. Abby was fine one minute and ill the next. Within 24 hours of becoming ill, our baby slipped away from us. We are still waiting for some answers. Texas A&M is working diligently to give us those answers. We know she is with you now, and that gives us comfort. Abby is chasing a thousand squirrels and you are watching her, slightly amuzed and slightly annoyed. You used to watch her and her sister as if to say, "Those crazy youngsters!" Abby's sister misses her but she is doing fine. Her boy misses her like I miss you, though. He is struggling to cope. Such a hard lesson for a 15-year-old boy. He loved Abby so much. The hole in our hearts grew bigger when we lost Abby. We miss you both so much. I miss you both so much! I am holding on to your brother for dear life. I don't know what I will do when our sweet Andrew passes on. He seems healthy and happy right now. I pray that he stays that way for a few more years at least. I love you big guy!
My handsome boy. I think about you every day, but I think about you even more as your birthday draws near. You would have been eleven years old this month. The pain of losing you still feels so fresh. I don't think the emptiness will ever go away. Your memories always bring a smile to my face. You were such a character! Your brother is doing well. It's a little more difficult for him to get around but he makes it. He's a trooper just like you. I miss you big boy! There will never be another you.
March 16, 2013
Oh, my sweet boy! It's been two years and I still cry like a baby. I will never stop missing you. We were all sitting around the table a few days ago laughing and telling stories about all of the fun times we had. You always knew how to make us laugh! You were so very special to me! I think you liked story time around the big chair more than the kids! There still is an empty spot next to my bed and in my heart. Until I see you again, all my love my sweet, sweet boy.
Nov 21, 2013
My baby boy. I still miss you so much! You would have been 12 years old today. Your brother/litter mate, is not doing too well. I found out today that he has stomach cancer. There isn't much we can do. I will continue to give him lots of love and care and keep him comfortable until his time to meet you at the Rainbow Bridge. I know you two will be so happy to see each other, but what will I do when Andy Bear is gone, too? My life will never be the same. 😔
September 17, 2014
Over three years and I think about Alex every single day. So much has changed in the three years that he's been gone. Life is more stressful and I miss Alex more than ever. When things got tense, Alex was the one being that I could count on to brighten my day. One look into those sweet brown eyes and my stress melted away. As I am going through one of the toughest times in my life, I need my sweet boy now more than ever. I look at his beautiful face every day and it helps, but I sure do wish I could hug his furry neck and kiss his wet nose! I miss you baby boy! There will forever be a hole in my heart.
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